How can I know what I know in this life, but still suffer at the hands of the restless mind?
This is the human dilemma. We live in the world of technology, with everything we could ever wish to know available within a mere click – but still we suffer; still we become the slave of a restless, unmanageable mind.
The overwhelm, the clinging to events passed or yet to come, the sleepless nights, the inability to concentrate on one thing at a time, and of course, the constant mental chatter that pulls us away from the very life we are here to live.
It can feel like the sum total of the human experience.
This has been my forever story. Not a story with a beginning, a middle and an end, but a continuous voyage as I navigate the turbulent sea of the restless mind.
Of course, the younger me didn’t have the insight or the vocabulary to name the agitation. I couldn’t see how much power a wayward mind held over my experience of life, or how easily it could trap me in repetition, fear, catastrophising and inner turmoil.
Now I understand these processes, both in theory and in practice. Yet understanding doesn’t make the unravelling any easier. Years of conditioning have strengthened patterns of thought, reaction and perception until they feel deeply familiar, rooted firmly in the subconscious. At various times, and at different levels, they still work against me.
To train the mind to be the servant, rather than the master, is the quest. Yet, for many of us, we become far too proficient at allowing the mind to take the reins, and when it does, it holds on tightly, becoming stronger and more determined to keep us caught in emotion-driven turbulence, dragging us in a multitude of directions with seemingly little hope of finding a peaceful presence.
We tend to see this most clearly in two places. Anxiety often leans towards the future, and low mood often lingers in the past.
We see life through the lens of our experiences, our memories, our joys and our traumas. What is real, unreal, truthful, untruthful, helpful and unhelpful is constantly being filtered through our accumulated life experiences - a lens that can become clouded by the weight of our past.
The ripples on the lake of the mind
Imagine peering into a pristine forest lake.
When the lake is undisturbed by external influences, such as the weather, we can see our reflection looking back at us, just as it is. There is a natural clarity, a stillness that allows us to see without distortion.
But when the surface is disturbed, the reflection becomes fragmented and the movement of the water distorts what we see, making it difficult to recognise the image beneath.
This is a beautiful metaphor for the disturbances of the mind and how they influence our perception of ourselves and the world around us.
At its core, yoga is the practice of calming the fluctuations of the mind and guiding us towards a deeper connection with the present moment, and to experience the newness and originality of that moment without the ripples or disturbances that alter our perspective.
Over time we cultivate a sustained practice that serves to skilfully guide us to begin to see life as it really is and not how we are – away from the filter of our conditioning.
This is the beginning of the journey towards harnessing our full human potential.
Change the weather, not the reflection
Let us revisit the pristine forest lake, as the perfect metaphor to dive a little deeper.
When the surface of the lake is disturbed, our instinct might be to reach in and see if there is a way to smooth or flatten it. In much the same way, we try to think ourselves calm. We battle with our thoughts, argue with them, push them away or attempt to control them.
But the more forcefully we try to create calm, the more turbulent things can become.
Ultimately, the ripples are not the problem, they are the result of something deeper, something that is stirring up the surface – in the case of the lake it is the wind or the weather.
Within you it is the state of the nervous system, and how it is shaping the response of the mind. A body that senses threat produces a mind that scans, replays and rehearses. Whilst, a body that senses safety and connection allows the mind to soften with greater ease.
This is why knowing is never going to be enough.
We can understand the lake metaphor intellectually, recognise our patterns and know exactly what we should be doing, yet still feel as though we are standing in the middle of a storm.
The deeper truth is that the conditions influencing our perception are constantly changing. Our circumstances, experiences, emotions and thoughts are in a continual state of movement. Yet beneath all this movement, we have the capacity to reconnect with a deeper sense of self - the awareness that allows us to observe the changing landscape without being entirely consumed by it.
Through yoga, breath and meditation – we become more proficient in calming the mind, by entering through the physical body and connecting to the one thing that is with us always – the breath.
Bringing ourselves to connection through embodied sensations and breath is the fastest way back to nervous system safety and safe connection.
It doesn’t have to be complicated.
Simply by noticing the hands resting on the thighs, the feel of the seat in the chair, and the connection of the feet on the earth, can begin to draw our attention away from the relentless activity of the mind and towards the experience of being safely here.
Shaking, swaying, gentle movement and tapping can also be valuable tools for reconnecting with the physical body and restoring a sense of presence.
For me, body awareness, somatic movement and breath practice provide me with an anchor. Just as an anchor keeps the boat steady in uncertain water and weather conditions, so too does the breath and the connection to the body steady the ruminating tendencies of the mind.
When we can begin to return to centre again and again the strength of the mind to pull us relentlessly into the future or back into the past becomes a little less powerful. Just as we drop the anchor to steady the boat, the mind can be drawn back in through the practice of breath. Here the surface-level disturbances give way to the pure clarity of reflection lying just beneath.
We are not necessarily stopping the thoughts or eliminating the turbulence. We are developing the capacity to remain present, even when the surface is moving.
And this is where the real work begins.
Learning to navigate the turbulence
The greatest shift for me came when I stopped expecting the mind to be still all the time.
Life will continue to bring challenges, uncertainty, disappointment, excitement, change and everything in between. There will be days when the mind feels clear and spacious, and others when it feels like a storm that simply refuses to pass.
The invitation is not to try and control every passing thought or to create a life without turbulence. It is to become more skilful in how we meet it.
To recognise when we have been swept away by our thinking.
To notice when we are living in the past of yesterday or rehearsing the future of tomorrow.
To pause, to reconnect with the body, and find our way back to the present moment.
Most importantly, to practise this not only when we need it, but consistently, so that returning to ourselves becomes a little more familiar each time.
Start simple – take a slow, soft, intentional breath in through the nose, and a long exhale. Repeat.
As the breath, so the mind – calm the breath and calm the mind.
Please don’t wait until the storm arrives to learn how to navigate the waters or the mind. It is a consistent daily practice – conscious breathing, mindful movement and moments of stillness that give us the most valuable tools. Think of it as an investment in our ability to meet life with greater awareness, resilience and choice – to see life clearly and to not be held captive by the powerful projections of the mind. This is the ultimate freedom.