Communicating with Compassion – A Fundamental Pillar of Wellbeing
Communicating is one of the fundamental functions that make us human. The ability to relate with yourself and others plays a pivotal role in relationships and ultimately will have a major impact on overall wellbeing.
When we learn to communicate with the language of compassion and connection from the heart, we learn to live and respond from a deep seat of centred authenticity and empathy. This allows emotional wellbeing to be attended to by clearly being able to impartially identify feelings, needs and requirements around any given situation.
The way we communicate will imprison us or liberate us because to choose how you respond in life is the ultimate freedom. Choosing to be present in all facets of daily communication and to demonstrate both verbally and non-verbally in a way that fosters collaboration and minimises conflict and misunderstanding, helps us to live a balanced, more harmonious and aligned life. To respond with compassion is to respond from wholeness and connection, rather than fragmentation and disconnect – but how?
to choose how you respond in life is the ultimate freedom.
As with all the dynamic facets of wellbeing, we should first consider the relationship we have with ourselves. This is arguably the most important relationship that we will ever have, and the way we think and act reflects the nature and strength of this intimate relationship. If our mind is consumed with self-limiting beliefs, judgment, unprocessed emotions and negative perspectives on life, then the way we treat ourselves will ultimately mirror that internal landscape. To connect with others we must first learn how to connect with ourselves and begin the process of self-awareness and observation.
Beneath this layer, however, is our ability to self-regulate in any given situation. The nervous system will ultimately dictate if we are capable of responding to ourselves and others with the compassion required to establish true connection and collaboration. We only need to think of a stressful period in our lives and how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours mirrored the symptoms of stress we were experiencing. The logical, rational mind begins to shut down in states of heightened stress, we feel threatened and become ineffective at listening and the possibility of compassionate communication dissipates.
This is the layer beneath the layers. To start with self-regulation and to learn the tools to optimise our physiological, psychological and emotional response, provides us with balance. From regulation and balance comes the ability to pause, to see with clarity, and potentially less bias. Ultimately, giving us the freedom to choose how we respond to ensure our wellbeing is supported. From here we can make a conscious decision to observe without judgment, to listen without accusation and to speak in a way that meets the needs of the situation and all that are involved from a balanced viewpoint. From regulation comes greater resiliency, which means we cope better under duress and thus have the capacity to communicate with more compassion.
When we establish an intention to communicate more consciously, we become more proficient at observing when we make judgments, and comparisons or when we deny or accept any responsibility in a situation. Learning to observe rather than evaluate creates a broader perspective and is more likely to consider different points of view and provide us with a platform to express ourselves more clearly.
Our deep-set program of habits and ways of thinking often makes it difficult to see things without placing our own interpretation on them. We can practice this by simply observing the facts in any given situation. For example, observing that the weather is cold, rather than stating that the weather is terrible. Allowing us to search for equanimity in situations as they arrive.
From our observations, we can sense how they make us feel and whether it is positively serving us and others. Learning to communicate how something is making you feel through the observations made, is only possible if we have taken the time to discover and know ourselves better. Regulation in the nervous system provides the space to feel and ascertain our needs and to request without the added complexity of heightened emotions.
From a state of balance, our inner world will dictate the impact of our outer world and what this means to you, your relationships and the harmony of your life is significant. Learning how to regulate, reduce the impact of stress, and create calm in the mind and body whilst opening up a true sense of clarity is a necessary skill set in the home, social settings and in the workplace.
Breathing and learning simple breathwork practices is the key to accessing the back door of the autonomic nervous system and provides us with a strong foundation on which to then learn and implement the skill of compassionate and conscious communication.
The ability to communicate effectively begins with awareness and awareness comes through self-discovery, learning and being open to change. Knowing that our words have the power to connect or separate is powerful and communicating with sensitivity with the intention of collaboration, helps us to work toward a more favourable solution for all.
It all starts with the breath, we all have access to it, so why not learn how to use it to optimise your physical, mental, emotional and social wellbeing and establish this sense of balance in your mind and body? The freedom is in choosing how you respond and shouldn’t we all want to respond from a place of peace, clarity and balance, and let that ripple out, influencing all those we come into contact with?