Breathe Yourself to Better Sex - the breathing-sex connection
Ok, so now I have your attention, let’s dive in! Sexual performance is definitely part of the conversation when reflecting on overall health and wellbeing, with performance between the sheets being one of the key indicators of specific health challenges we may be facing.
The body is always providing biofeedback regarding its current physiological state, although whether we are paying attention to it is quite another matter. But the writing is on the wall when it comes to performance, satisfaction and of course enjoyment in this intimate part of relationships. Are there messages that you are ignoring in this area of your life?
Sexual activity can be physically demanding exercise and the connection between heart health, respiratory health and sexual function has a very ‘intimate’ link. Those who have been working with me for a while know that I advocate in favour of breathing functionality and its effect on the nervous system and thus health. Why would sexual performance not be included in this aspect of wellbeing?
Long-term, chronic stress will impact the nervous system and the way we breathe will mirror and impact that. In a state of sympathetic drive, the body is not interested in sex, there is no time to ‘reproduce’ when the main priority is safety and survival. If the body is signalling distress, certain systems will switch to a more conservative mode or simply shut down - they are not required to survive at this time (say goodbye to your digestion, regular menstrual cycle, and libido). Stress releases high levels of cortisol into the body, disrupting the sex hormones and creating imbalance.
Stress negatively affects the production of testosterone in men, reducing sex drive, and sperm production, increasing the likelihood of erectile dysfunction and impotence. Women experiencing high levels of stress may experience loss of libido, fertility issues and low levels of genital arousal, usually as a result of psychological stress creating high levels of anxiety, and therefore spending too much time in the ruminations of the mind rather than the sensations of the body. This in turn will minimise being present in the moment and therefore lower overall connection and enjoyment levels.
Functional breathing can not only provide the antidote for the impact of stress on sex but can also provide more energy for the task at hand and play a significant role in the quality of the overall performance. Sexual function and sexual pleasure are closely connected to the way that we breathe and the way we breathe has a direct effect on the stimulation of the vagus nerve, with poor vagal nerve stimulation and tone being linked to sexual dysfunction. This all, of course, leads back to nervous system regulation, the breath, and so the cycle begins!
Simple practices you can implement daily can have a profound effect on your sexual health because they directly influence the autonomic nervous system, the physiology, and the mind.
Breathing through the nose day and night is essential for breathing functionality and regulation of the nervous system. Nasal breathing will slow breathing down, activate the diaphragm and increase oxygen uptake, whilst harnessing the wonders of nitric oxide. Slowing down the breath while breathing through the nose will enhance blood flow to the sex organs and of course, holistically reduce stress levels, optimise sleep, and regulate the nervous system. Of course, this will support and enhance sexual function.
A fact that I love is that there is an area in the nose that has the same erectile tissue as the genitals, which in turn becomes erect and creates congestion in the nose during intercourse. This has been termed ‘Honeymoon Rhinitis’ (or Honeymoon Nose) – nasal congestion during arousal and sex. The tissue in the genitals and the nose are both linked to the nervous system – can you see what I am implying here?
The nose is also key to ‘sniffing out’ potential partners, which is not good news for relationships if you met when your nose was blocked!
Slow diaphragmatic breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, calms the body, influences the mind and activates the muscles of the pelvic floor. Breath-holding influences carbon dioxide levels to enhance the relaxation effect, and vasodilation of the blood vessels to improve circulation to ‘all body parts’ – cueing blood rushing to the extremities.
There are so many facets involved in the area of sexual health and far too many considerations than we can explore in just one article, but in a nutshell, these are my thoughts.
The way we breathe during the day and the night has a significant effect on the nervous system and the nervous system is responsible for how we interact with the world and each other. When we are exhausted, stressed, run-down, and feeling unattractive, uninspired, and mood-sensitive, sex is the last thing that occupies our thoughts. Getting through the day is by far the priority.
Breathing and regular breathwork can not only impact daily energy levels, calm the mind and reduce negative internal dialogue but can be used to enhance enjoyment and performance between the sheets as part of this holistic approach to health. Once regulation and energy are reinstated moving forward becomes, more organic, unforced, and more enjoyable - an essential part of a healthy, respectful partnership.
There are so many other avenues to explore, including the yogic perspective and the importance of sexual energy and conservation of the breath in enhancing spiritual experiences, delaying ejaculation and re-directing energy. This in itself is a whole other post and one I will explore at a later date.
For now, let’s get started and create a systematic approach to holistic health:
1. Nasal breathing day and night
2. Exercise regularly to enhance respiratory and heart health and clear stagnant energy from the body. By adding yoga to your weekly schedule, you are prioritising movement, breath and regulation all at the same time!
3. Practice slow diaphragmatic breathing to create balance in the nervous system and activate the pelvic floor.
4. Learn some simple breath-holding techniques (for example, inhale gently, exhale slowly, hold the breath out for 3-5 seconds), to increase parasympathetic activation and increase carbon dioxide in the body – this is your inbuilt relaxant.
5. Create positive sleep hygiene with a focus on ensuring you are entering ALL stages of the sleep cycle (see my previous post – I Can’t Get No Sleep’) and making sure the bedroom becomes a sanctuary for sleep and sex only!
A healthy sex life is part of optimising wellbeing, this starts with the fundamentals. Regulate your breathing, balance your nervous system and let the beauty and the magic of the body do the rest.
More to come… (pardon the pun).